How to Talk to an Ex Again
Tin't Terminate Breaking No Contact?: Get My Individual Method Here
Can you really text your ex back? Is texting the best mode to get your ex-boyfriend'due south attention and reel him dorsum into your life again?
For me, the reply is yep. Texting is that powerful.
I'm a large advocate of using text letters to rekindle a human relationship. It was my go-to technique when I used to reach out to my exes in the past. It's the primary method that I teach our clients when they're prepare to contact their exes.
Merely why is text messaging so powerful?
Because texting gives yous all the time and space you need to craft the perfect bulletin that your ex will want to hear. A text allows yous to create a mix of ambiguity and excitement that triggers your ex's curiosity and emotions.
In other words, if you know the techniques of writing a perfect text bulletin (which I'll show you in this article), and then you can exist in full control of the conversation.
Or your whole journey to get your ex back.
Sending a text is your best choice compared to meeting in person, calling, or writing emails which you know your ex won't carp to read.
Coming together or calling your ex will make you stumble for words if y'all can't command your emotions. A nervous stutter from your voice tin can reveal your insecurity which your ex might presume your call is almost getting back together.
Emails allow yous to write long, desperate letters. I'm sure yous volition exist spilling all the emotions and questions in your mind, sprinkled with a dozen apologies. Your ex isn't going to open and read information technology if he sees information technology's from you. So why waste all that effort when your ex-boyfriend isn't going to read it?
Texting is your best option girl, especially if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back. One time yous finish reading this commodity, you'll exist surprised how picking the correct words volition trigger the response you desire from your ex.
Ane text is all it takes to become dorsum on your ex's radar.
RELATED: How To Text Your Ex The Right Way And Get A Response
Text Your Ex Using A Proven System
Once you understand the process and the techniques, you will learn how easy information technology is to arts and crafts persuasive, emotionally-charged texts that can rekindle his feelings for you.
One of the best resources that I've plant on using texting in relationships is called Text Your Ex Dorsum. It's a programme past a human relationship practiced called Michael Fiore that focuses on breakups and rekindling relationships. Texting is the principal form of communication to get yous on talking terms with your ex.
The Text Your Ex Dorsum program covers everything from getting over your breakup to crafting smart texts to win back your ex.
RELATED: Michael Fiore's Text Your Ex Dorsum Review
I strongly recommend a guide similar this to help you get through the breakdown and the recovery process. If you don't accept whatever support, the process can be exhausting and hard. Just painful to get through the day with nil to look forward.
I've personally expert a lot of the ideas in the program before. In fact, I'll be referring to some of the ideas in this article to show y'all how helpful a guide like this tin can be life-changing for you.
In this article, yous'll learn why texting is the best method to assistance you become your ex-young man back. I will share some techniques along with some text examples to bear witness to y'all how effective texting tin can be to get the response you want from your ex.
Remember that excitement from your ex when he commencement laid optics on you? I'm going to show you how to trigger that same look and bring back the skillful old memories.
Before You lot Send A Text…
It would be unprofessional for me to jump correct into the techniques of texting your ex without doing some prep work. I know you're here to learn more about information technology, merely before we can go to the texting stages, you lot'll need to piece of work through these two checkpoints in order to fix yourself for the right mindset.
- Do the thirty Day No Contact Rule.
- Understand what went incorrect in your human relationship.
I accept separate articles for both of these 2 points in a higher place. Then I'll rapidly touch upon these ideas to make sure yous understand the entire procedure of getting your ex back.
Past the time you blot both of these points, y'all'll have a stronger reason why you need to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.
Getting Your Life Dorsum Together In xxx Days
The most important thing correct now is to go you lot out of that miserable, lonely hole. The longer you are stuck in there, the harder it is for you to take control of your life.
This is the purpose behind the No Contact Dominion: to give you time and space to recover from your emotional wounds. It'south also time for you to reverberate on your life and decide what'south best for y'all.
In other words, information technology'southward time for you lot to exist selfish.
I tin can't stress how necessary the No Contact Rule is. I know from personal feel how hard it is. I've failed it many times! But no matter how hard information technology is. Put down that phone!
Ladies, I know how hard information technology is to avoid your ex. Merely this is one of (if non the) most important parts of the process. You need to wait 30 days earlier contacting him. That's it – bottom line.
The breakdown is still too fresh. You still accept too many wild emotions flying around to brand meaningful contact with your ex.
Just think virtually it – do you lot really have anything thoughtful to say? At this point, you're either fuming over the breakup or crying uncontrollably.
I fabricated the mistake of contacting my ex during the kickoff 30 days, and you know what happened? The two of u.s. only went back and forth, throwing blame and acrimony at each other. We were still and so hurt virtually the breakdown. The wounds were still healing.
Trust me, I learned the hard style that waiting is the only thing you should (and can) practice. Don't brand the same error every bit I did.
Don't blow your second chance to make things right.
So, what do you practice during the thirty days of no contact?
Work on you.
Pamper yourself. Go into shape, and spend some time on your mental and emotional well-being. Exit at that place and date other people. Go out with the girls. Get your confidence back.
First being crawly again.
Look, the No Contact Rule doesn't have to be strict and hard. It can be natural and forgiving if y'all care for this menstruum as a time block for yourself. A lot of people, including me, failed no contact because nosotros viewed the silent handling as a style to ignore our ex. But when we're doing that, we are putting a lot of focus and energy to the idea of neglecting our ex, and not enjoying this time being single and free.
This is the wrong mindset.
Instead, channel your focus and free energy to what matters to yous — your family, friends, work, passions, and interests.
Focus on you.
The standard No Contact Rule everyone hears about is harsh and ineffective. Most women are just counting downwardly days like some magic solution will appear on Day 30.
For me, I've learned and taught an active version of the No Contact Rule.
Information technology's flexible and painless. The focus of my version is to liberate yourself and help you re-discover your feminine power. You need to larn to trust yourself once again. Once yous realize how much "influence" you have, the journeying to get your ex back will be easier than you think.
RELATED: My Stress-Gratis No Contact Rule: The Definitive Guide
What Went Wrong In Your Relationship?
This is probably one of the hardest things to acknowledge and work on. Which is why I talk about it separately to the No Contact Rule, although information technology is ane of the things you do during this period.
Information technology's the elephant in the room. And here'due south the question you need to answer.
Why did you break up?
Now that yous've solemnly sworn off contact, you can start your journey to understanding what went wrong.
It doesn't thing if you lot were the dumper or got dumped; something in your human relationship wasn't clicking. The spark is gone, and you're not attracted to each other anymore. Beingness together seems to be a brunt.
Now let's be honest hither and admit the truth. What happened? Before you lot start pointing fingers and say it's all your ex'southward fault, call up that a human relationship is a ii-way street. You are merely as much to blame equally your ex.
For case, you initiated the breakup because your ex cheated on you. Practise y'all think information technology's entirely your ex'due south problem? From the exterior looking in, yes. But deep down, you have to ask yourself why your ex cheated on you.
There must exist a reason why your ex decided to look for attending and condolement elsewhere because he wasn't feeling it from yous.
I know how hard it is to admit and seek the truth. But at this point, there'south no reason to shy abroad from being brutally honest with yourself. Information technology's fifty-fifty easier if you put the blame on yourself and endeavour to fix those mistakes.
Call yourself out and accept the idea of judging yourself.
Information technology'due south hard to get this process started, or let lonely, where do you begin? What questions exercise y'all inquire yourself to dig out the truth?
The Text Your Ex Dorsum program has a specific department to aid you work through this process. It's called Dumper and Dumped and calls on you to ask yourself a tough question: Why did you lot break up?
The exercises help you piece of work through the breakup and understand what went downwards earlier your large fight. If you were the one that got dumped, then you must take heard one of these classic breakup excuses from your ex.
- Information technology's not you lot, it'southward me. (We've all heard this 1 before)
- Our relationship isn't going anywhere.
- You don't appreciate me, or I tin can't relax.
- I found someone else.
What do these reasons mean? There's a lot of hidden indications in each of these excuses your ex throws at you. Once you know the hidden meanings behind the list of reasons your ex uses to break up with you, and then you take a better idea of knowing what went wrong.
It's a hard procedure, and I wouldn't recommend doing it alone. It'due south much easier if yous have worksheets from a program to help you work through your thoughts.
If yous face up the pain now, yous'll accept a better chance of winning and building a stronger relationship, whether information technology'southward with your old flame or a new partner.
The last point I desire to brand is agreement the goal of this process. What you are trying to accomplish here is to separate your ex-fellow from your old human relationship and treat it similar 2 different problems.
Your ex is a great guy. Permit's leave it at that for now.
Your old human relationship is the trouble.
Your goal is to move on from the erstwhile relationship and restart a new one with your ex.
Now permit'south move on to texting.
RELATED: Should I Get Back With My Ex? v Reasons To Fight
Text Judo: The Art Of Texting An Ex
Now that we accept discussed the prep work that needs to be done before contacting your ex, let's move on to how text messages can help you reach out to him.
In this section, you'll become a sneak peek of Text Judo, the texting guide in Text Your Ex Dorsum. I'thou going to reveal different techniques and text examples from the program to show you lot how artistic and powerful texting tin can be.
Once you lot know the techniques and templates, the ability to craft desiring text letters volition be at your fingertips.
You'll be able to throw your words effectually like a true judo main.
The principles backside Text Judo are:
- Texting is the most efficient and powerful way to communicate. You are in total control to craft the perfect message and send information technology at your own condolement.
- Yous employ what's left from your human relationship and harness the energy (positive or negative) into positive emotions you tin can mutually benefit from.
Are You lot Sending The Right Text To Your Ex?
Let's do a simple exercise here. Take out a piece of paper or open up a messaging app, and write/blazon the all-time text message you lot can think of sending to your ex.
Can exist near any topic or state of affairs. Your goal is to get him to answer positively.
Can't think of something? Does your text look like anything below?
Hey, how are yous?
Hey, I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't mean for things to go wrong. Can we talk?
Hey, I however believe y'all are my soulmate, and I'll exercise any it takes to make things right. Delight come back.
Ladies, if you lot are sending any text letters that resemble whatsoever of the examples above, yous need to end right now. What you lot are doing (or thinking of doing) is just going to push your ex-beau further abroad.
Just read the examples in a higher place out loud and see how it screams compassion and desperation.
Practise you retrieve your ex will respond seeing a text like his?
Practice you actually want to go back into a relationship where yous begged for love and acceptance?
No, y'all don't.
This is why I recommend a programme similar Text Your Ex Back to bear witness you how to properly craft the perfect text that your ex will happily reply to.
Don't try to formulate the text message. Utilize 1 of the templates in the program and change it to your situation. I'll evidence you some groovy text examples below.
RELATED: Video Explains How Text Your Ex Back Works
Why Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back?
With texts, you lot are in full control of what you want to express, and when you want to send that message. All in the comfort of your dwelling.
Before you hit that ship button, you can reread and revise the text until you get information technology but right.
Trust me. A short text with the right words can do the trick and trigger the right response from your ex. Y'all want to connect with your ex and rebuild that allure and trust again.
Here's the other of import matter, you lot need to take a legitimate reason why are you texting your ex-fellow.
Wanting to become your old flame dorsum is not a reason. It'due south the end goal.
For example, your very first text is not simply to say hi. Just you need a specific reason why you are texting him. Normally, I would recommend request for your ex'southward help or expertise. It's harmless enough that he will usually take the bait.
So here are a few rules that I normally bide by:
- Have a specific topic to write about
- Always be positive and exciting
- Never brag or celebrate nearly your new single life
- Never ship a negative text
- Don't wait a answer.
Even if you are asking for help, don't permit it carp you if your ex-young man doesn't reply. Maybe he's busy or isn't ready to talk to you. Perhaps he's trying to discover a way to write a good text back. Trust me. Men struggle with texting more than than women.
If he doesn't answer, take the silence as an indicator that he hasn't moved on from the breakup. He needs more time for the time being.
At to the lowest degree the ball is in his courtroom, and y'all can wait while moving frontward with your awesome life.
If in that location's no reply for a week or so, wait a few more weeks and striking him up with another text message. At some bespeak, the man is going to be mature nigh the situation and send y'all a courtesy answer.
The five Phases of Text Judo
Okay, now you know the power and importance of texting, permit'south move on to the techniques and text examples.
Hither's the most important matter you demand to remember: there are different types of texts to apply depending on your state of affairs with your ex. Don't leap to advanced tactics when you're sending your first text.
Y'all might startle your ex and make him run further away.
Remember, each step of the texting plan is to slowly trigger a positive response that your ex feels is harmless to appoint. Y'all want to exist every bit neutral as possible in the very outset while testing the waters.
This is why the Text Judo guide is split into five phases. Y'all will learn nigh all the five phases beneath, including text examples I've used in the past to bus my clients.
Hither are the five phases of Text Judo:
- Let the Contact Begin
- Test The Waters
- Validate Your Ex's Feelings
- Interpret Your Emotions
- Connect The Dots
Phase 1: Start Contact With A Gentle Text
Stage i is all nigh breaking the ice and initiating contact with your ex — nothing else.
The but text technique to use: Across the Bow Texts.
How does information technology work? With the G.E.A.R. method. Let me explain.
G = Gently
Keep it light and simple. Now's not the fourth dimension to dredge up whatever emotions.
E = Constitute
This stride is all about initiating contact and setting up the foundation for future piece of work. In other words, don't first asking your ex to come across upwards or talk. In fact, don't even bring up your past relationship.
A = Affirmative
Ever ship positive texts. The goal here is to go rid of the negativity and start over. You tin can't do this if you're sending negative messages filled with anger or blame.
R = Rapport
Inspire chat. Don't just send meaningless texts, or worse, bombard your ex with messages. Send him messages that he can respond to.
Don't ask him to get together. And call back, this is not a haul call, and yous won't exist able to ready your relationship with just these initial texts. Ladies, you're setting upwardly the groundwork for a stronger, better relationship with these texts.
Hither are some Across the Bow text examples to requite you an thought of what kind of messages you'll exist sending:
If your ex responds in a positive way, yous can beginning sending a few Best of Relationship Texts. These texts bring upward positive memories. Taking a trip downward retentivity lane will help him recollect the good times you shared.
You need to exist conscientious here, though. Only send these texts if he responds positively to your initial letters.
If y'all send a retentiveness text too quickly, your ex may be on to yous thinking y'all're making a move. Don't try to choice out the best moment in your human relationship. But use a retention that you guys talk about a lot and sounds neutral.
Stay out of any memories that celebrate your ceremony or big dates. Surprises for Valentines or your birthday are also a no become.
Here are some peachy examples of Best of Relationship texts:
Or a sneaky little fob to get your ex to remind you of an experience. Bet you he'south wondering why you're asking.
Remember, in Phase one, you're trying to initiate contact to see if your ex will answer. Keep the texts light and friendly. Go far every bit harmless as possible and then your ex-boyfriend doesn't feel at that place'south an agenda behind it.
Phase 2: Text To Show You Still Care
In this phase, we first to get a little more intimate with your ex by showing him support. Permit him know you nevertheless care.
We do this past testing the waters with Intimacy Booster Texts.
Possibly your ex is going through a tough fourth dimension, and you want to let him know that you lot're there for him. Or, perhaps his mom's altogether is coming upward, and you want to remind him. These texts drop little hints that you however care and remember things that are important to him.
Make this text all most your ex. Give him a subtle sign that you are rooting for him and that y'all're however his cheerleader. Just don't get besides excited in your text that you know everything that'due south going on with him.
Besides, don't send a reminder about something your ex might notice surprising to hear from you. That will gear up off the stalker alarm!
The simple fact that you sent a short and sweet text will bring smiles to your ex. Information technology shows that yous nonetheless care, which is a big boost to him if he finds it helpful.
With Intimacy Booster texts, don't expect a answer here. If yous get a smiley face or a elementary "thanks," and then congrats to you! That'south a huge sign that your ex appreciates you.
Phase 3: Validate Your Ex's Feelings With A Hot Text
Phase 3 is all about validation. This is where things first to get a little hot. It's at present time to stop playing games and permit your ex-fellow know how you lot feel.
This is where y'all dig deep and let your heart speak. This is the moment yous lay all your cards on the table, and honestly express your feelings to your ex.
I know honesty tin can exist tough. Simply at some signal, you accept to end beating around the bush-league. You lot're not making a large move to get back together however. That's your ex's job.
What y'all're doing hither is being honest with your ex about your feelings towards him.
Take all the fourth dimension you lot need to fix for this phase because information technology's a big one. Your chances are not over if you messed upward here. But keep in listen that yous want to present a new version of yourself who your ex-boyfriend is willing to give a second chance to.
In this phase, y'all will be using Emotional Honesty Texts. Luckily at that place are different types of Emotional Honesty texts to choose to suit your situation and comfort.
There are a few ways to do this:
Appreciation Text Messages
Tell him what y'all capeesh about him. For example, "I really appreciate how you were there for me when my grandmother passed away." Let him know that you're grateful he's in your life. A little gratitude goes a long fashion.
Compliment Text Messages
Compliment him, and exist confident near information technology (here's a great list). Hither'southward 1 of my favorite examples of Michael Fiore'south text messages that work actually well: "I've ever loved your easily." It's and so simple simply so powerful.
"What I Miss" Text
Allow him know what you miss about him, and exist specific. Use sights, smell, and sensory images to bring those memories back to life.
*
"How I Feel" Text
Tell him how you feel. These are tricky. Y'all need to exist confident, and you demand to be simple. If your message stinks of desperation, you may turn him off – for good. Here'south a neat example of this blazon of text: "It's funny, simply sometimes I really crave you. I e'er felt and then calm and prophylactic around y'all."
Don't let these texts scare y'all. Being honest is hard, only he needs to know your truthful feelings. He'll respect yous more for that.
Phase four: Gain Attraction With GEM Text
Now it's time to translate those emotions into allure and closeness using Light-green-Eyed Monster Texts and Attraction Texts.
We all know how powerful jealousy can be. We desire what other people take, and we get protective when other people try to take what's "ours." Green-Eyed Monster, or Gem, texts apply jealousy in a positive way, simply your timing has to be right, and y'all need to be at least a little subtle almost it.
Remember, you're sending these texts to get his attention – non make him angry. Your goal is to flirt a piffling by drawing jealousy and marvel from your ex.
Make sure you bring upwards a topic or even that your ex is interested in so that he has some interest in information technology rather than the mere fact that you did something with someone else. If the text contains a topic or event that your ex isn't interested in, then he'southward going to encounter correct through the text that you're trying to make him jealous for another calendar.
Again, make the focus of the text well-nigh the topic/outcome your ex is interested in, not you lot.
Here's an first-class GEM text example to understand how this all ties together.
See how subtle, but powerful this message is? You're letting him know y'all were out with someone else, but without throwing it in his face. And allow'due south exist honest – he'southward going to presume yous were out with another guy. At this point, his old protective instincts volition kicking in, and he'll start wanting you lot even more than he did earlier this stage.
You volition be getting right into his mind without him even realizing it.
Making him jealous will rekindle his attraction for you, and once this happens, you tin start sending Attraction texts. I'll warn yous, though, these are text messages that will make him want you. You need to make certain that you send these at the right fourth dimension, and you demand to keep it virtual.
Bring upwardly a sexy story. Remind him of a sexy characteristic that yous love nigh him.
Phase 5: Seal The Deal And Meet Your Ex
We are at present in the concluding phase which you're ready to seal the deal. By this point, you should exist able to get your ex's attention, establish a basic emotional and physical connection, and testify that you're emotionally mature and interested.
Your goal here is to transfer your texting relationship to an actual meet up! That's right, time to close on your ex-swain with Seal the Deal Texts.
This i is like shooting fish in a barrel since y'all take been texting for a while now.
Hey, I'm around your area tomorrow for a meeting. Wanna catch upwardly for coffee?
Brand it every bit elementary and casual as possible. If your ex-boyfriend opposes or has 2nd thoughts, you tin can either drop it like it's no large deal or give a elementary nudge that information technology's only coffee.
Personally, if my ex isn't certain about meeting up (for coffee), I would reply something similar this:
Okay, no worries. My meeting ends at 3 pm. Let me know if you alter your mind. Enjoy your 24-hour interval.
Meet how that makes you the boss!
A Little Disclaimer About Text Judo
Okay, now that you have an idea of how Text Judo tin can help you text your ex back, you need to use the tactics carefully.
I wanted to add together in a little disclaimer here but to make sure that yous are not using the techniques for the wrong reasons.
Text Judo is not about manipulation or tricking your ex into getting back together. If your ex is truly over you, there may be no hope for your relationship.
But if your ex still has even an ounce of feelings for you, this system volition work. The messages you send will exist powerful, and they'll bring dorsum old memories that will rekindle his quondam feelings for you.
If you want to get Text Judo a endeavor, get the full design and more than text examples in the Text Your Ex Back programme.
RELATED: Want To Try The Text Your Ex Back Program? Click Here.
Text Your Ex Back
Is it possible to go your ex back by text messaging?
Yes, Information technology'south possible if you follow a strategy and use smart text messages that your ex will respond positive to.
It worked very well for my clients and me.
Texts are so easy to use and utilize once y'all know the right techniques and the process. Text Judo is 1 of the best blueprints you tin can use to guide you through every stride.
Have out the guesswork. Simply follow the text examples and hit send.
Texting relieves the emotional tension and awkwardness that usually occurs in a telephone call or meeting in person. Yous only don't want to outset on a bad notation and ruin your chances.
Simply before you text him, make sure yous fully understand the reason yous are reaching out to your ex and what kind of response you expect from yous.
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